Doctor Work's Current Events Limerick Page

The two great questions of our age, "Do you want fries with that?" and "What would Jesus do?" can really be distilled into The One Supreme Question, "Would Jesus want fries with that?" Or, to fit on a bumpersticker, "WJWFWT?" If more people asked themselves this question, obesity would be a thing of the past. It reminds me of a limerick (which I wrote last night)....

Slimmin' With Religion

The American people are fat
And we need to do something real stat
"Just say no" supersize
(which goes right to your thighs)
And ask, would Jesus want fries with that?

And speaking of the past, not everything oldie is goodie:

That Old-Time Religion

Don’t give me that old-time religion
Where killing ain’t always a sin
Don’t you find it quite odd
That Old Testament God
Struck down millions who weren't his kin?

Along these lines, there is a great quote from Isaac Asimov about religion and the bible:
"Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived."

Bush’s polls are all going way down
As his war destroys town after town
But what really is wrong
Is it’s taken this long
To admit we elected a clown

Well, it's come to this. My apologies for stepping out of character for a moment, but we need to go back to basics. I've had it up to here (raising hand over head) with all the bogus explanations of how to write limericks that proliferate on the web, supposedly written by "experts."

This is a job for...LimerickMan!

Here is the correct way to write one. A "true" limerick has anapestic (two unstressed and one stressed syllables) or perhaps amphibrachic (unstressed-stressed-unstressed) meter and an aabba rhyme scheme. Also, the two "b" lines are shorter than the "a" lines. Thus, if you are following along, the syllable count must be 9,9,6,6,9. HOWEVER, this is just the "correct" way to write one. If you feel what you need to say is so important or clever or funny that you can break these rules, go for it (and be grateful there is no penalty for perpetrating poor poetry). But make sure it sounds good when read aloud. And finally, remember that the real heart of a limerick is the final line, so make it a good one!

So, to set a good example and to drive this point home, I present my Limerick on Limericks (yes, this will be on the test!):

A good lim'rick is not hard to pen
Proper rhyming must first be your ken
As for meter, you see
Anapestic is key
But it's here that a verse finds its Zen

I'll be the first to admit I don't always strictly follow the rules of meter (the other rules, though, are pretty much etched in stone). But I do try to make it sound like a limerick and roll off the tongue.

OK, I'm done. Now back to our regularly scheduled program. Thank you for your patience.