Saturday, November 24, 2007
On Black Friday
Here's a little ditty I wrote about Black Friday, since the poor "holiday" didn't have a song or carol written for it.
"Black Friday Bills" (sung to “Jingle Bells”)
Black Friday is here!
"Black Friday Bills" (sung to “Jingle Bells”)
Black Friday is here!
I’ll get in line by 4.
This better be my year
To be first in the door.
Why stop at two or three--
I fill each shopping cart.
To bolster China’s GNP,
I always do my part.
Credit cards, credit cards,
Credit cards, credit cards,
Credit all the way!
Oh! what fun it is to spend
A whole year’s hard-earned pay!
Cash is so passé;
Cash is so passé;
I don’t use it any more.
(Oh, look at that display--
I'll take just three or four!)
I max out every card
On junk no one will need--
Just give me lawn gnomes for my yard
And snowmen dressed in tweed!
Credit cards, credit cards,
Credit cards, credit cards,
Credit all the way!
Oh! what fun it is to spend
A whole year’s hard-earned pay!
The offers never stop
The offers never stop
Despite my credit score;
No matter how I shop,
The postman just brings more.
More debt I will accrue
And this does not me faze,
Since I know the bills aren’t due
For twenty-two more days!
Ooooooh, credit cards, credit cards,
Ooooooh, credit cards, credit cards,
Credit all the way!
Oh! what fun it is to spend
A whole year’s hard-earned pay!
Sunday, November 11, 2007
On Barry Bonds' Chances of Being Elected to the Hall of Fame
In Cooperstown, where there's a hall
For the legends who swatted the ball,
The name Bonds you won't see
(Not unless you go pee,
'Cause I wrote it myself in the stall!).
For the legends who swatted the ball,
The name Bonds you won't see
(Not unless you go pee,
'Cause I wrote it myself in the stall!).
